Mr Peanut Starts GoFundMe to Help Cashew Guy Get an Audi

None of us was really ready for the internet. Corporations least of all. Sunny D might be suicidal, Burger King is selling Big Macs(?), and now Mr. Peanut is trying to buy cashew guy an Audi e-tron.

Cashew guy is the protagonist in Audi’s Super Bowl ad—famously the second best Audi-related ad released this week—and you may remember him from choking on that cashew. And apparently Planters peanuts wants him to have the Audi of his near-death fantasies.

 

“Not only am I appalled that he had to choke, he didn’t even get the car. But I’m here to help,” writes the company, as Mr. Peanut, in the Go Fund Me campaign. “If that cashew restricting his airway couldn’t get him Audi E-Tron [sic] surely the internet can. I’ve started this GoFundMe to help Cashew Guy get that E-Tron [sic] he so desperately deserves.”

Despite being a pretty cute and presumably cheap ad campaign, it is alarming that eight people have donated a total of $43 to this campaign. What do they think Planters is gonna do with that money? Cashew Guy isn’t a real person. Neither is Mr. Peanut. The actor playing Cashew Guy wasn’t really choking. He already made money to be there.

Whatever.

The Go Fund Me pitch ends with Planters saying it likes the car.

“*Planters is not affiliated with Audi and does not have a partnership with Audi. But it is a cool car, and the guy deserves one.”

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